Never EVER Swallow Bleach.

Yesterday as I was doing the dishes I came upon a tray that had some chicken on it. I thought to myself, "Rather than throw this delightful morsel of chicken away I will injest it and let it's nutrients become a part of my own matter." As I happily popped the little sucker into my mouth a feeling like Death decided to spread out over my entire being. I gagged, I choked, I ran to the nearest water dispenser and gushed gobbs of cold water in my mouth, swished it around and spit it out. The Death, rather than dissipating however, seemed to spread even more in my mouth. I felt it's poisen reaching down to the depths of my throat as well up to my nose as it seeped through the roof of my mouth. Suddenly my throat was extremely soar as the poisen dried and destroyed whatever it touched. Why was it spreading everytime I tried to delute it with water!?

Then I thought, "It must be bleach...Bleach is an acid...I must drink milk..it's a base" good old Mr. Landers had taught me well boy! I chugged the milk as though my life depended on it. Relief flooded through my body. I had outwitted the bleach. WAHAHAHAHA...My life I had saved. I felt rather clever. Then when I asked my mom about it later, I realized it was not bleach that I had unwittingly taken into my mouth but rather Joy dishwashing soap. "Mild on the hands" Joy dishwashing soap. How unromantic. I was no where near the death I supposed was eminently towering over me. That was why as I swished the water around in my mouth the soap only spread making bubbles... hum...ehheh(sheepish giggle)